Posts Tagged ‘life’

The Impact of Mere Conversation

As I wrote to my Twitter account a few days ago, “Sometimes the most memorable and humbling conversations we have are with complete strangers in short, by-chance interactions.”  What I was attempting to do in 140 characters or less was refer to a specific conversation I had on a plane ride home from a hockey tournament during my undergraduate education that made an incredible, almost surreal impression on me that I will never forget.

But, first, a distinction: we’ve all had emotional conversations we’re doomed to never forget.  Likewise, we’ve all had “ah ha!” conversations where we realized something interesting, and perhaps that perspective has kept with you since that moment.  But the conversations I am speaking of transcend inherently emotional talks, and instead come out-of-the-blue and yet still impact us to an extent we could never have imagined.  I’ve only had a couple of these during my life, and I’m going to share them in hopes of allowing others the opportunity to reflect on the unexpected-and-yet-memorable conversations in their lives.

Starting chronologically, I’d like to attribute the first conversation to my father.  I’m sure that everyone who grew up in the traditional two-parent household can appreciate the oft-unfunny-but-somewhat-clever quotes our fathers tried to use on us.  Of course, that’s after first using them on our mothers and our older siblings; that is, after all, the only reason fathers have multiple children: to tell the same old jokes over and over again.  But the first conversation that had a great impact on me wasn’t a story or joke, really; rather, it was a small quip that made a lot of sense.

While practicing basketball in our backyard, my father and I were playing a little 1-on-1.  Being unable to get around him, I made a spur-of-the-moment hook shot that had little chance of going in.  However, this particular shot clanged off the rim.  He stopped and said, “Why would you try to make that shot?”  To which I responded, “Well it almost went in.”  His response, I thought, at the time, seemed stern, but it has burned itself in my memory.  He said, “Almost gets you nothing.”

The truth in that statement didn’t hit me until some years later.  His statement wasn’t made to anger, disappoint, or depress, but rather to encourage me to assess each situation for the best solution before acting on what’s easiest or trying a completely frivolous or unfounded action that has little change of solving the problem.  That simple quote, which I’m sure he thought nothing of at the time or ever since, has taught me that your actions are fruitless if you don’t put forth adequate effort to complete your thoughts or goals.  Being a scanner with many differing interests has made digesting this quote difficult, but serves as a great motivator to complete those tasks and ideas I find most interesting and practical.  I’ve held that quote since I was about 12, and hope to impart that same philosophy on my children, too.

The other conversation which has impacted my life inspired this post.  After losing at a national collegiate hockey tournament, I decided to take an earlier flight back to my hometown to see my family.  Knowing no one on the plane and not being the greatest conversation starter, I sat uncomfortably in my seat, digging my nose into, if memory serves me correctly, a book about social and political philosophy.

The man next to me, nearing the middle of our flight from Colorado to St. Louis, asked what I was reading.  I explained it to him, and he seemed intently interested in my thoughts in philosophy and how it was applicable to other, more practical areas of life.  I asked him what he did, and he gave me his business card: this previously anonymous man, Patrick McGuire, curious and talking to me like a colleague about philosophy, was an astrophysicist working on robotics and artificial intelligence applicable to remote Earth and planetary exploration at the Earth & Planetary Remote Sensing Lab at Washington University in St. Louis.

I was astounded — almost speechless — but found enough breath to ask him many of the same questions he first posed to me.  At the end of our conversation, he said he wished he knew more about philosophy.  Likewise, I said I wish I knew more about astrophysics (an autodidactic interest I still hold and write about today), but I added a quip at the end of my sentence: “…but I could never be as smart as you.”  He looked at me and responded, “That’s not true. I’m just smarter in physics while you’re smarter in philosophy. We’re both just as smart; it’s just about different subjects.”

Such humility is rare in academia, and perhaps even more rare in the sciences.  But what that incredible quote taught me is that everyone is smarter than someone else in something, and that makes everyone equal.  We all bring different experiences, knowledge, interests, and passions to the table; what we do with them — not what they are — is what is to be judged, if anything is to be judged at all.  That simple response from an incredibly bright man taught me that he — a distinguished researcher — and I — a simple student — were equals, and we could learn much from each other.

Through these small quips, rarely meant to provide such large impacts, we can learn much about ourselves and others.  While I’ve been fortunate to have had conversations which gave me these perspectives, it does make me wonder: what other wonderful insights did I miss or forget?  I can only hope that I am able to impart on some others new perspectives that impact their lives the same way those mere, unexpected conversations did to me.

A Synesthetic Life

When people find out that I am a synesthete, most people look very puzzled.  They immediately look as if I might have some sort of disease, extra-sensory perception, or belong to a funny-sounding religion.  Contrary to their beliefs, however, synesthesia is actually a neat little “disorder” whereby a stimulus gets a little mixed up by a person’s senses.  For us synesthetes, that means, depending on the form of synesthesia, we can taste, smell, and touch things such as colors, shapes, sounds, and text — immaterial things to you, but not to us.

The first interesting thing about synesthesia (or synaesthesia for the European readers) is that most synesthetes don’t realize it’s odd until talking with a friend or family member about a synesthetic experience.  Despite my mother reading Born on a Blue Day by Daniel Tammet, an autistic synesthete who is also a mathematical savant and sees numbers in the forms of shapes, and discussing with me his experiences, I never realized that I too was a synesthete.  It wasn’t until years later in a casual conversation about a song to which we were listening and what it looked like did someone finally say, “What are you talking about?”  That song is shown below:

the pot

This form of synesthesia is called sound-color.  I don’t know why there are four blue posts, a transparent platform connecting them, or multi-colored strands which run through the posts.  Nothing in the song gives the impression of that image, and yet at a certain point in the song, that image always shows up, as is what happens in most songs to which I listen.  Some songs may only have one image; others will have three.  Very few have more than that.

A music teacher once asked me a question I hadn’t really considered before: “Do some bands’ songs look similar?”  And yes, they sometimes do.  Some bands tend to have bars and lines; others tend to have more blurry lines of soft colors.  Some songs have dots and “auras” or “glows.”  Interestingly, some songs by bands who share members (for example, of two different bands have the same lead singer) will have two completely different images.

Another interesting question posed by a student of mine was very telling of the difference between synesthetes and non-synesthetes: she asked, “If you see listen to music while you drive, how do you see the road?”  Sometimes the best questions are asked by the most innocent and curious!  The answer, of course, is that I “see through” the image.  The images are always there during the song, but I’m not concentrating on them, so I’m able to see through them.  Some images are in my peripheral vision and I don’t even need to see through them to ignore them.  For example, the image above is in my lower peripheral vision.

But that’s not the only kind of synesthesia I have.  Another prominent form of synesthesia I have is called number form.  This is where numbered sequences aren’t linear; that is, when you think if a number sequence, you most likely think of them in a line.  For synesthetes with the number form type, we see non-linear sequences.  While number form obviously infers it happens to numbers, for my synesthesia it happens to months.  Below is an badly drawn approximation of how I see the calendar.

syncalendar

You’ll note two things: first, it doesn’t even remotely look like a calendar.  When I spontaneously imagine where I am in the year, it looks very similar to this.  In June, July, and August, it’s as if I’m looking down a ramp.  It then turns into a 2-D clock-like image which slowly trails off.

The second thing you’ll notice about the image is that there are two months missing: March and May.  Those two months are completely missing from the image which I see, and I’m often at first confused on which one comes first in the year.

Another implication of seeing this image is that it takes me a few seconds to realize just how far away other months are.  For example, if I’m in November, August seems very close while February seems very far away, when in reality both are the same distance from November.  Largely regardless of what month I’m actually in, April and July usually seem very far away while June seems reasonably close.

The third type of synesthesia I have is called personification.  As the word infers, synesthetes with personification type see numbers, letters, and some symbols as having inherent personality types.  For my synesthesia, I see numbers as having body types.  Some numbers are inherently skinny while others are fat.  Some are beautiful while others are ugly.  When choosing my sports numbers, I always took this into consideration, trying to match my jersey number with a number which fit my body type.  For example, when I started playing as a hockey goalie in hockey, I chose 39 since its body type is pretty skinny, as I once was.  Then I changed to 43, which has a more “average”/athletic body type.

Unlike Daniel Tammet, who seemingly uses his synesthesia in conjunction with being a mathematical savant, I don’t have any keen insights or advantages due to synesthesia.  Instead, I just have a number of neat experiences and images which I can draw, paint, or describe to others.  I’ve even considered painting my synesthetic images for bands or people who would like to “see” the image of their favorite songs.

For more information about synesthesia, there are many books about the subject, including Wednesday Is Indigo Blue: Discovering the Brain of Synesthesia, The Hidden Sense: Synesthesia in Art and Science, The Man Who Tasted Shapes, The Frog who Croaked Blue: Synesthesia and the Mixing of the Senses, Blue Cats and Chartreuse Kittens: How Synesthetes Color Their Worlds, and for the more academic-minded, Synesthesia: A Union of the Senses – Second Edition and Synesthesia: Perspectives from Cognitive Neuroscience. Prominent researchers and research institutions include Richard E. Cytowic, M.D., Edward M. Hubbard, Ph.D., Massachusetts Institute of Technology, and University of Sussex.  You can even test yourself online at The Synesthesia Battery to see if you have a number of types of synesthesia.

The Rules to Ensuring a Successful Movie-going Experience

Having seen a number of movies in the theaters recently, I’ve decided to make public the rules I generally follow when embarking on the movie-going experience.  The principle behind these rules is that movies cost $9.00+, so the experience better be a good one.  And you needn’t pay for the new, trendy luxury movie theater experiences; you can get the same experience for the normal price.  It all comes down to combating the bad aspects of the common movie-going experience.

The reasons for why the usual movie-going experience aren’t due to any particular demographic, but rather a culmination of things.  First I’ll go through the usual bothersome experiences found at movie theaters:

  • Talking during the movie.

Usually blamed on teenagers, they aren’t the only ones who find it acceptable to talk during movies.  It seems the larger the crowd, the more it is deemed appropriate to talk during the movie.  If I wanted to talk with my friend or family member, I certainly wouldn’t spend $9 to do it.

  • The frequent cell phone checker.

In the age of the always-on cell phone, we’re inundated with calls, texts, e-mails, and other alerts, and these don’t magically stop during movies.  What does stop, however, is the common sense to not check the phone.  Unless you’re a first responder or the President of the United States, you probably aren’t important enough to have to take a call in the movie theater.

  • The crowd itself.

Let’s be honest: we like our space.  That means we enjoy being able to put our feet up where we aren’t supposed to and use our neighboring seat as a storage space for our jacket and overpriced popcorn.  Having the awkward war with the neighboring stranger over the arm rest isn’t a particularly enjoyable experience.

  • The overpriced concession stand.

According to an article on MSNBC, “the average markup of an ounce of popcorn at the movie theater is about 1,275%.”  While movie theaters generally make a tight profit, the article states it has more to do with the willingness of the customer to pay $11 for a medium soda and popcorn.

With those concerns in mind, I generally stick to a very strict set of rules that has, thus far, ensured a successful movie-going experience, so much, in fact, that I’ll go to 2-4 movies per week, even if they aren’t particularly great movies.  There’s just something about seeing the movie on a huge screen and great speakers that makes the experience worthwhile.  …well, when these rules are followed, at least:

Never go on a Friday or Saturday.  Instead, go on a Sunday or Monday.

Everyone goes to the movie theater for dates or friend/family nights on Fridays and Saturdays, and thus ensuring that they’ll be the busiest days of the week.  However, I’ve found that very few people like seeing movies on the day before having to work, particularly when coupled with my next rule:

Go to the latest show.

No one wants to go to the 10:20 show for a two-hour movie the night before starting the dreaded work week.  Going to the latest show on the least-popular days ensures a very small crowd.

Get to the movie 30 minutes early.

This seems a little extreme, and it’s the one that oftentimes gets nixed by movie-going friends, but getting to the movie theater a half-an-hour early is usually enough time for the employees to clean the theater from the previous crowd and also allows you to get the best seat in the theater.  I prefer the one at the highest row, directly in the middle; you know, the good one.

Eat beforehand.

I must admit: I love movie theater popcorn.  Even though they’re small pieces of popcorn, the butter and light salt makes it one the tastiest treats on the planet.  Couple it with a nicely sized soft drink that washes down the butter and salt, and you’ve got yourself a meal… and an expensive one, at that.  By simply stopping off and getting a bean burrito or some fries, I’ll save over $9 per trip to the theater.

By following those four simple rules I find movie-going bliss.  One of the happiest moments in my life is entering the long, dark hallway of a movie theater, rounding the corner, and seeing my favorite seat waiting for me.  Hopefully following the rules will ensure a positive movie-going experience for you, too.

Inheriting the Billion Dollar Question

A recent late night, front yard conversation between neighbors yielded perhaps one of the most common “what if?” questions of the middle class: “if you had billions of dollars, would you give any of it to your children?”  It’s a question that often forces people of different generations to butt heads, likely recounting experiences of their own upbringing and how it made them into the people they are today.  And of course the obligatory derogatory comment about Generation Y.  But what the query is truly analyzing isn’t simply whether you’re greedy or willing to let your children do whatever they want; rather, it’s about perspective.

The most common answer I’ve heard to the sociologically-piercing question is, simply, “No, I would not let them walk through life.  They would have to earn it just like I did.”  This is interesting on a number of levels.  First, the assumption that the financial gain was due to hard work (as opposed to through a lottery, in which the money was gained not through work but rather luck).  And, second, that a parent wouldn’t mind being put on the cheap rich parents list because of their work-oriented principles.

This is often where the denigrating comments about Generation Y arrive.  If there’s a single generation who takes the most flack for work ethic, conceitedness, and miscommunication, it’s Generation Y.  General aspects attributed to Generation Y include:

  • They don’t want to have to earn accolades.
  • They don’t put in extra effort.
  • Everything should be handed to them.
  • They need a lot of attention.

And no doubt these are sometimes more than appropriate to apply to some individuals of this generation.  But I don’t think it’s a fair perspective to have of the entire generation, and it has become a prejudice against an entire section of our population.   I think this prejudice is a simple misunderstanding of values and perspectives between generations.  But, first, I believe there are two causes of the Generation Y attitudes: upbringing and history.

Perhaps hypocritically, those who complain the most about Gen Y-ers are the same ones who are raising the Gen Y-ers.  While they complain about Gen Y-ers expecting accolades for doing their job, they go home to their children where they continue the cycle.  Modern parents, perhaps above parents of any other generations, feel their children are inherently special and deserve attention and applause.  And then the parents go to work and expect Gen Y employees to act like employees from other generations.  It’s easy to see that there’s a dual attitude in these situations: “My children are important and are deserving of accolades, but others’ aren’t.  And since you aren’t my child, you aren’t special enough to warrant special treatment.”  This leads to confusion about communication, perspectives, and job satisfaction.

The other influence of Gen Y-ers is simply history.  Growing up Gen Y-ers saw their parents working hard at jobs they may not particularly enjoy but nonetheless it pays the bills and puts food on the table.  But as the economy goes through cycles and people are laid off of their jobs and retirees lose benefits.  For example, with GM declaring bankruptcy, some union organizations voted to decrease the amount of pensions retired workers will receive, and complete pension termination is possible.  So after working at a company for 20, 30, 40, or even 50 years, these workers are left with very little, and certainly not the amounts they expected after so many years of heart and soul.  Gen Y-ers see this as corporate manipulation, and, even worse, abandonment by their own.  That’s why Gen Y-ers are called the “me” generation: they have to get what they can because they know, long-term, they can’t trust anyone to manage their lives for them.

Getting back to the original question, then, I’d like to give a Generation Y-er’s perspective on what I would do if I had a billion dollars and children to whom to give it.

As I explained to my neighbors, I would fund their educations and, more importantly, their passions.  If it’s business, after schooling I would fund her first venture.  If it’s art, after schooling I would build her a studio.  If it’s science, after schooling I would finance her research.  If it’s law enforcement, after schooling I would buy her the best equipment.

No prejudice, no bias, no influence, no opinions; whatever passions they have, I would help them achieve them.  Life is too short to spend so much time at a job you don’t enjoy, and so I would ensure that my children find their passions and can take part in them to the extent they wish.  That’s what life is about.